fhen you are still queuing in Berlin to finally be able to take part in the federal election, be sure to stay in line! In this way, you can secure yourself a good starting position for the by-election, which is to take place before the end of the legislative period. But only if everything goes smoothly. But when was that the last time in Berlin? In Bismarck’s times or rather with Old Fritz?
The traffic light coalition is currently discussing whether by-elections can only take place in leap years and in months with X and whether all parties absolutely have to be on the list again. Green and yellow would be enough, FDP and Greens think. In any case, too much choice leads to physical discomfort (“choice is spoiled for choice”), which in turn clearly violates human rights. The United Nations election observers already have fountain pens in hand to order blue helmets to the capital.
This has already proven itself in the GDR
Alternatively, experienced East Berliners are said to have suggested simply creating standard lists that citizens would only have to fold if they agreed. In addition, helpers could also come home by “flying ballot box” so that no voter is left behind. This customer-friendly system had already proven itself in the GDR, because dialing can be done so quickly and efficiently, as was recently seen again in south-eastern Ukraine. The best part is that this method can produce overwhelming wins even without a count.
However, the proposal did not even make it to the hearing because, as is well known, East Germans have no say in the Federal Republic. If it had been different, we could have had two public holidays this week, for example, and thus two long weekends: German Unity Day on Monday and Republic Day on Friday. Unity and the right to free time!
Of course, on Republic Day, Olaf Scholz would traditionally have had to inspect a military parade, but who would want to leave the Chancellor and his cabinet standing on an empty street for hours? Which in turn reminds us of the deeply concerned objection of a citizen in a public discussion, who desperately warned against a diesel driving ban because tanks would then no longer be allowed to deploy to defend the country. Apart from the fact that a tank would have to be available at all, the man must be worried: Diesel is so expensive that not even the German armed forces can afford it anymore. Is there nothing that can be done about it? Here, too, a look to the East would help, in this case to Father Lukashenko, who on Thursday banned any price increases in Belarus by decree with immediate effect. Take that inflation!
Corona masks are cheaper than gas
Rain, problems and of course gravity, which has made him look unnecessarily small all his life, are also said to be on Lukashenko’s ban list. But we digress, so let’s quickly get back inland where things seem to be heating up on the fuel front. The federal government now wants to burn around 800 million corona protective masks. Not to celebrate the end of the pandemic, but because the use-by date is said to have passed. At the same time, the energy sources procured by Jens Spahn, the old saver, at a unit price of just over one euro should at least be cheaper than gas.
On the other hand, there could soon be relaxation for petrol and diesel. According to a Telekom survey, Germans would rather do without their car than with WiFi. Many know this from their little ones, who, as soon as they have been handed a kit, inquire whether it has WiFi. All in all, that would also be good news for gas consumption, because according to Telekom, underfloor heating impedes the WLAN function enormously. This should make it clear which of the two achievements in Germany’s homes will remain switched off this winter. Better to shiver than not to surf wirelessly! And before Christmas, the gas storage tanks will overflow.
