EA long career in politics is clearly not good for your complexion. The recent cases of Putin and Berlusconi show that. The Russian president seems as waxy as Lenin after decades of lying in the mausoleum, although territorial acquisitions are supposed to boost blood circulation in people like him. Putin’s friend in Italy, whose face looks as if it had been freshly covered in imitation leather, which ended up running out, was even more in need of renovation. In any case, Berlusconi’s plastic surgeon must have been a fan of Chucky the killer doll. We haven’t been so scared when someone laughs for a long time.
We really didn’t need the sight of a reanimated old man to make us shudder. The Berlin horror story about the gas levy was enough for that. There were members of the traffic light government running around like zombies. Vice-Chancellor Habeck, who was already quite gray in the face, shouted in the Bundestag “The gas levy must go!” in such a grave voice that even Boris Karloff felt shivering.
Then Habeck is a must-go minister after all
Allegedly, Habeck only wanted to caricature the Muuuß-weg opposition. But only days later he adopted the war cry “Mooooo!”, which makes him a Muoooo minister, arguably. But since he continues to be up to mischief in the Ministry of Economics, which is already tormented by burnout and tinnitus, one must probably speak of an undead.
But we only really flinched when the Chancellor spoke of the double boom. At first we thought that not only Habeck and Lindner had crashed, but also Baerbock and Lambrecht. Or Merz shot himself in the other knee after the social tourism pipe burst. Or two other pipelines had been blown up.
But Erdogan is no small sewer rat
The bad news from the bottom of the Baltic Sea shocked us even more than the report that Kubicki had named Erdogan a small sewer rat, which he really isn’t, which is why the Turkish President wants to sue the classification. On the other hand, one cannot argue about the extent of the damage to the pipelines. With their perforation, the hope of getting into the gas business with Putin again is finally gone. For that reason alone it can’t really have been Putin himself who sabotaged the tubes. But then who? The Poles, who rightly no longer trust us? The Turks, what was Kubicki trying to tell us through the sewer rat? The Americans? Biden had told Scholz on the open stage that he had ways and means.
However, this attack also reminds us of Alexander the Great, who had his ships burned to show his people that retreat was impossible. Could the traffic light, which had gotten out of control, have resorted to a similarly drastic means to make it clear to the Germans that there is no going back to the old energy policy? Could the leak in Isar 2 also be due to such a motivated act of sabotage? Then you really have to deal with the fear.
But we no longer have to harbor this suspicion. We couldn’t have been that in the Baltic Sea, because you needed at least that a submersible submarine. And the Gorch Fock isn’t even good for laying mines.
And Scholz doesn’t have a sharp gun
After a moment of shock, the double bang also turned out to be as unwarlike as Scholzen’s golden shot with the bazooka and the single bang from summer 2020. The chancellor isn’t dealing with a sharp bang here, but with an onomatopoetic icon, i.e. one Term just pretending to be a cannon shot or an explosion. And it’s better to do it twice, especially in a coalition like this. Still, we find it worrying that two-year boom inflation has already hit 100 percent. At this rate, we wouldn’t be surprised if it eventually made a bang, maybe even double.
