After Business Insider published an article about college students becoming sugar babies for fear of student loans, a few sugar daddies have come forward to explain that there’s more to it than that. A reader told us about his many years of experience as a sugar daddy.
This reader works in the tech industry in Silicon Valley and has an income “well over $250,000” and net worth “well over $1.5 million.” He’s in his mid-60s.
His report, slightly edited for clarity, is published here. To protect his privacy, he remains anonymous.
Outsiders tend to equate sugar babies with prostitutes. That’s not how I see it.
To me, sugar dating is more like a temporary and self-arranged marriage.
A prostitute not only offers sex for money and meets several men a day, but also makes a living this way. However, a sugar baby is looking for a longer relationship. She’s looking for a man she can get along with. She wants exactly what a girlfriend or wife would get from her wealthy husband. She has a job that pays her bills, but she’s also trying to improve her lifestyle with sugar daddy money. And she doesn’t offer paid sex.
But most of them also know that if the agreement continues after the first date, they have to act like a girlfriend and also show closeness.
I’ve been a sugar daddy for over a decade
I’ve had an account with a sugar daddy website named sugardaddyseek.com since 2020, but I’ve also tried seekingarrangement.com and was active on Craigslist Erotic Services for years before the section was banned.
I have met many women on these pages. I talk to them and listen to their stories. Some of the women I’ve dated for years, others it was just a one-off thing or something in between.
The image of a hot young coed meeting a rich guy who pays her to look pretty while they dine out and travel is largely false. A lot of women believe these stories and try to get an easy fuck like that, but that’s not really the case.
The women I meet are normal people. They have jobs and otherwise regular life. You would never guess that they are sugar babies. In fact, most people don’t talk about it at all. You tell it at most to a friend who does the same thing.
Many women only last a few weeks as a sugar baby and always searching for how to find sugar daddy — in large part because they get too many weird offers from men who don’t actually have the money to help them. I treat sugar babies like normal people, find out what they want and start there.
A typical sugar baby has a specific goal. She might be saving for a car, a trip, or a new apartment. She’s most likely just out of a relationship or marriage and is fed up with all the drama. Some like the fact that an older man with a lot of money is into them. Older women who have already been married expect certain things, while sugar babies are grateful when they get something.
It’s like having a girlfriend — but I’ll never get married
I’ve been with a single sugar baby for three years now. She’s half my age, but we’re in a real relationship.
As a sugar daddy, you’re in a kind of honeymoon mood most of the time — you’re treated well, you spend many romantic nights together, and you’ve seen as the savior of a damsel in distress.
I’ve taken some women on vacation and given them extra money, but only after I got to know them better. I’ve also had women who just wanted money for fancy dinners, but I don’t go for that. Why should I? Other women have asked for money or an allowance right from the start, but I don’t go along with that either. There are cute girls on the sugar daddy dating sites just looking for a helping hand to pay the bills, but also far too many spammers.
Student loans are a big problem for many young sugar babies and they no doubt sign up on these sites just to get money for their monthly payments. I have met two active students so far. One of them was a student at Berkeley and the other attended UC Davis.
Like all sugar babies I’ve met, I’ve paid them $200 to $300 per meeting. They also received other gifts from me, I went out to dinner with them and went on trips with them. But I also know that very pretty coeds charge $500 to $600 and a lot of them get it.
As a man, you have to be careful about the kind of people you’re dealing with — many just say they’re a student when they obviously aren’t. When I text a woman, the first thing I do is ask her for her email address and cell phone number and google everything. I find her mostly on Facebook but sometimes on escort sites too.
By the time I’ve met a woman, I may well end up spending $1,000-$2,000 a month on top of that paying for dinners, vacation trips, and shopping trips. Some women charge as much as $5,000 to $10,000 a month, but I’d be surprised if they actually get that — unless they’re lucky and hooked up with a Manhattan millionaire.
My current sugar baby has a good job that makes about $45,000 a year, but she couldn’t afford an apartment without roommates. Thanks to me, she now lives alone in a condo and is happy. I have also taken her to Europe three times and she loved it.
I would never get married because of California law and the courts that rule in favor of women. I have friends who lost their entire retirement savings after their wives got fed up with the marriage and took their ex-husbands’ homes and savings and found a boyfriend who would dance to their tune.
My own brother had a long divorce and custody process in court. In fact, he paid more for his lawyers than I did for my sugar babies over the years.
I’m having fun and I can still afford to retire.